Wysteria Lane..

No, readers, this post won't be about the lives of bored housewives; sorry to disappoint you. Rather, about the world Wysteria, and how many pig jokes I can make without driving all of you screaming from your computers. I'd make less, but the inhabitants of what should be called Pig-sty-eria certainly don't skimp on the Ravenwood jokes. Sorry, but I'm totally neck-deep in this whole school rivalry thing, as usual. You can bet that I'd dye my robes Ravenwood colors... if we had them, and if my Waterworks robe-stitched to-Dragonrider's thing could be dyed anything other than black-and-gold....

Anyhow, here's my first day of fun in Wysteria. Yes, regulars, screenshots with Stormthief commentary.




Other magic schools? Wait, you mean I could have gone to a magic school where teachers didn't try to have me expelled just because they didn't like the way I carried their laundry? Oh hi, Professor Drake. Since when did this become your office too? Could I get a transfer form?


All this trouble for a Cup.... Merle, why can't you just settle for a nice mug? This one says "Spiral's 2nd Best Headmaster".... it even comes with a swirly-straw!



I guess that means I don't need to show up for Drake's class, right? Or Falmea's, right? My eyebrows haven't quite grown back yet. Do I get a nice Ravenwood hoodie? Cuz I look good in black.



Why Pigswick? I mean, it's like you're just asking for a lot of bacon jokes...




Well, I bet Drake went along with it happily, right? I feel so special. Do I get a day off from class? Cuz I've just about had enough with the Helephants, and giant Minotaurs..



Well it's no hoodie, but it'll do, bird, it'll do. (Babe 1995, anyone?)


Now that's just asking for it to be stolen...





Thanks? So, you're like the Pigswick version of Mr. Lincoln.... And correct me if I'm wrong, my semi-modern Asian history is a bit rusty, isn't the Dowager the lady who staged a coup against her 2 year old grandson and threw his mother down a well.... Sorry, guys, still just kinda uncomfortable with the whole rival school thing :). I'm sure Ms. Dowager is a perfectly nice dragon lady. I'm sorry, I mean, pig lady. Or do you guys prefer porcine? Pig it is.






Call me paranoid, but isn't that foreshadowing?


Yep, "build a sense of community". Which is what my coach said at the fencing match before encouraging us to beat our opponents into the ground, to show no mercy, to show those other schools ... for the sense of community :), of course.



Benedict Glendemning.... nice first name, right?





And if I don't pass? Suppose that will be exciting too.

Well, this is rather exciting, actually. Walked down a hallway...

And found this...

Look at that, Merle Ambrose in his salad ears. Turns out the robe and monocle weren't new.... He doesn't look too happy, does he?

And this...

Well, would you look at that; the un-ruined version of the Ruined Painting. Sorry about the whole, you know, defeating you ten thousand times thing. Just had to have that robe of yours, you know how we wizards are sticklers for fashion. And by the way, could I borrow that staff of yous, ex-Prof? Malistaire didn't seem to change with time, assuming whatever business he had at Pigswick was a while ago.... (Guest lecturers don't usually get portraits in places of honor, and Malistaire appears to have been teaching at Ravenwood for a long time).


So... hi there, Diego. I'm pretty sure you never came here in the Mini-Game...

So.... what's the story here? I don't quite understand why 3 note-worthy Ravenwood professors have their portraits next to Pigswick faculty (see the pouting pig in the pictures). I don't know if they taught here or something, and I'm probably over analyzing this (as usual)... But what I do know is that I hope these portraits drop. Cuz Malistaire would go great between Dogs Playing Cards and Two Trees, and Diego looks like he belongs between the pair of Hanging Sai I have. And Ambrose? Sticking him next to the Laugh'o'dills, cuz he looks like he needs a laugh.


Greatest prize in all the Spiral, eh? So... you think if I grab it and run, anyone will notice? Or will it have to be more Thomas Crown Affair..


Nice to meet you too, Benny.


Wow, extra points for humility there, Benny Glenny.


So, if they're not fair, they aren't final? Let me get my lawyer on stand-by.


Save your sympathy for yourself when I'm done with you... Alright, sorry, forgot I was on a blog. But seriously, watch your tongue, bro. (No, in this case, don't be like Blaze.


Chamber of the Basilisk? Alright, but if I don't come out in five, come in and look for me. (Bonus points to whoever got the complicated joke :P)


mmhmm.






"There is no shame in defeat."  "Perhaps next year, no?" :)


What? No, I'm not smirking, this is my normal face.  :)


Oh, you too, Ms. Dowager?



So, more arguments over whether or not "My blade is longer than yours",  "My school is cooler than yours", and "Our A-strip is better than yours"... wait, sorry, this isn't a fencing regionals, my bad.


Kisai Shugenja? Now that rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?



Alright, I guess  by now, you've all had enough of me comparing the competition to one of my fencing matches; it's about time I actually gave this post some actual substance. First; Wysteria is a game-changer. It may just be a tiny break from the copy-paste quests of Marleybone (I know a lot of you loved MB, but really; it was a really long world for me, what with the lack of sidewalks and flight-risk witnesses), but this tiny break opens up a lot of things for the Spiral. See bullets below;

• We are not alone... Apparently, Ravenwood isn't the only place where one can learn to wave a wand and make things go boom; there's Pigswick, and Weirwood, and more, i think. So... where were you guys when our guy Mally rage-quit and tried to bring the Spiral with him, eh?
  
  
• We are not the best... Pigswick is doing a good job of making us look bad; the fact that they all openly dismiss us Ravenwood students, and with some reason; someone explain why the Spiral Cup practically belongs to Pigswick.
  
  Yes, I was again tempted to revert to Muggle combat with this glorified pork-belly.

And one of the most interesting things for me was this;

Now, I realize Kingsisle has played out the whole "desert mysticism" thing; but  this scimitar-wielding spell-weaver has me intrigued; is Mirage a future world? 

Who knows? But that will have to wait, I'm about to leave for a humanitarian aid trip to Romania. We'll be helping special needs kids, and orphans in the town of ***CENSORED***. Wish us luck!

Blaze Stormthief